


It's a little different when I'm with you

by ViscountFox



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Eventual Fluff, F/M, High School, M/M, Mikasa and Levi are siblings, More tags to be added as story progresses, Slow Build, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-02-13 17:37:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2159259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViscountFox/pseuds/ViscountFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's been living with an abusive Aunt since he was 9 years old but it's only now that people are staring to notice, particularly, his best friends brother, Levi.<br/>He doesn't know what it's like to live a normal life, doesn't remember what it feels like to have a family. He's broken in more ways than one but Levi is determined to show Eren the love he deserves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The warmth of a family

**Author's Note:**

> Haha...aha...ha...hi  
> I really shouldn't be uploading this since I still need to update my other fic, 'The more it hurts the more you heal' but I've been writing this chapter for a while now and I've finally finished. I seem to have a habit of abusing Eren but I didn't want it to be Grisha because he's going to show up in later chapters so I made up an Aunt. She's a bitch.  
> I really wanted to do a slow build fic where they gradually spend more and more time together. Yay! Slowly falling in love :3  
> Erwin and Hanji are going to be older and in college, they're going to be like a big brother and sister to Eren. Yes, Hanji will be female in this. Purely because it's easier for me to write her that way since I see her as female in my head.  
> Unfortunately for any Petra lovers, I needed someone to be a bitch and make Eren feel insecure at some point and thought who better than a jealous ex? Sorry, I actually really do like Petra's character but hey, I needed someone.  
> Also, the other chapters most likely won't be as long as this one but good news! I already have the next chapter planned so it shouldn't take too long.  
> If you want to know anything about the up coming chapters or plot, feel free to ask through comments. Any feedback is appreciated.  
> Enjoy!

“Please...please stop!”

“You ungrateful mut! You should’ve learnt your lesson by now! You have no right to beg me!”

The sickening slap of skin hitting against skin, the pitiful whimper of a broken child. The thump of heads slamming against walls, the scream of a young boy who wishes for nothing more than the pain to stop. The echoing crunch of feet connecting with ribs, the stuttering breath from bleeding lips, the fading pleas of a boy who misses his parents. The smashing of bottles late at night, the cowering form a destroyed body. The stream of insults and curses, the dull teal of eyes that used to shine so bright. The whispered prayers to a God the boy cannot believe exists.

The covering of bruises with long shirts and scarfs. The questions from friends asking how he got his latest injury. The keeping of secrets from the people he trusts the most. The torture of leaving school, his safe haven, and knowing exactly what’s waiting for him when he enters a house that has never felt like home.

The pain of finding his mother’s bloody corpse when he was nine years old. The abandonment of a father who was never there for him anyway. The fear of being moved to live with a woman who hated him, a woman who called him a monster, the same woman who used to hit him as a child and threaten him not to tell his parents. A woman who they said was his aunt but only appeared as a demon to him. A women who abused him nearly every single night.

That was the life of Eren Jaeger.

But soon, Eren’s life will change for the better.

* * *

Every morning, Eren wakes up silently and full of caution, tip-toes his way around the house as he gets ready for school. This morning is no different. After he’s finished his daily routine in the bathroom, he quietly makes his way back to his room. It’s barely even a room though. Just a small closet-like space with a worn, lumpy mattress for him to sleep on and a chest of drawers to keep his clothes in. He doesn’t complain though. Just tells himself it’s better than nothing and goes on his way.

He hurriedly changes into faded jeans and a white T-shirt that isn’t stained with blood, draping his favourite green hoodie around his shoulders and wrapping his only scarf around his neck. It’s red and soft and he hardly goes anywhere without it. It was something given to him by his mother so he doesn’t want to lose it. After he’s neatened out his sheets, he sneaks down the stairs and steals a piece of bread from the kitchen, ensuring he doesn’t make a noise. It’s probably the only food he’ll get today but he eats it quickly and makes his way out the door with his bag swinging from his shoulder, only stopping to shove his feet into battered converse.

The walk to school is slow, his head running with thoughts on how to convince his friends, what new lie he’s going to tell them today. He already has the asphyxiation marks and the bruising on his arms covered but there’s no way he can hide the limp in his step and purple shadow around his left eye. They’re always concerned for him, especially Armin and Mikasa. When he comes in with a bust nose, he tells them he got into a fight with guys from another school. When he comes in with a sprained wrist, he says he fell down the stairs. When he hobbles in on a broken leg, he makes up a story about how he got hit by a car.

They all tell him that he needs to be careful, he’s too accident prone. He laughs it off and says he can’t help it. They tell him to control his temper, to just ignore the other guys and walk away. He promises he’ll try and offers a smile. They complain that he’s too skinny, that maybe he should visit the hospital. He reassures them that he just has a fast metabolism and a small appetite.

He doesn’t tell them that it’s because his aunt refuses to feed him, says he doesn’t deserve it.

“What the hell happened to you this time?” Mikasa asks with a sigh as soon as he steps into the classroom, causing Armin to whip his head up and frown in Eren’s direction. Out of all his friends, Eren’s known these two the longest. They’re the two people he trusts the most, he’d gladly give up his life for them.

Mikasa is like a sister to him, always there and ready to protect him from anything. She’s a pretty girl, half Asian with long black hair and piercing grey eyes. She’s very much of a martial arts enthusiast, always down training at the gym. She’s tried to teach Eren before but he’s always been a natural fighter, relying on instinct rather than skill so he tends not to pay attention.

Armin on the other hand is a total book worm. He’s a small boy with a full head of blond hair that he often ties up in a stubby ponytail if it’s in the way. People often see him as weak and defenceless but his blue eyes hold intelligence that Eren knows could easily make your death look like an accident.

“It’s nothing!” He chuckles with a sheepish grin as he limps over to them. “I tripped and face planted the path on the way home yesterday, ended up spraining my ankle.” He adds a nonchalant shrug on the end for good measure and it manages to do the trick because Armin shakes his head and Mikasa just sits back down with another sigh.

Eren’s always loved school. It wasn’t just a way of getting out the house for a couple of hours, he loved learning in general. There was something about learning new things, something you never considered before and finding answers to questions you never thought about asking that just excites him.

First period is Geography, Eren’s favourite subject. He’s always had this overpowering obsession with the world, oceans, volcanoes, jungles, anything that can be explored, he’ll want to explore it. One day, he want’s to travel around Europe, move back to Germany, his parent’s home country. He can speak the language fluently so that wouldn’t be a problem but he’s only 15 years old, he has to wait another 3 years before he’s allowed to leave the house freely, before he can leave that hell hole once and for all. He doesn’t know how or where he’s going to get the money from but he’s determined to reach his goal no matter what.

Geography comes to an end and History follows after. At break, Eren meets up with the rest of the gang at their usual spot outside. He’s quick to explain his injuries and reassure them he’s okay before joining Sasha and Connie in teasing Mikasa’s boyfriend, Jean.

Next, he has a double period of Art. It’s the lesson he uses to take out all his frustration and anger and by the time the bell rings for lunch, his hands are black and he’s gone through 4 sticks of charcoal. After thoroughly washing his hands, he makes his way to the dinner hall and takes his usual seat next to Armin. Lunch passes by like normal with his friends asking if he’s going to eat something. Eren wishes he could eat like the rest of them, considering he feels hungry almost all the time but he doesn’t have any money nor a packed lunch. Even so, Eren’s still grateful when Sasha shares her extra bread with him.

After Lunch, Eren attends English with Armin and Bertoldt before its Math with Annie and Reiner. English isn’t actually his first language so Eren’s always struggled with it and he simply isn’t smart nor enthusiastic enough to do well with numbers. Despite these factors, Eren can’t help let out a disappointed sigh when the final bell rings, knowing fine well what he’s going home to. He just hopes his Aunt is still at work.

He’s just about to leave the school grounds through the parking lot when Mikasa catches up to him with a call of his name and Eren notices that her brother is trailing behind her, looking bored as always.

Now, Eren’s only spoken to Levi a handful of times and it’s usually just awkward small talk when they just happen to be in the same room, which is rare considering Levi is a Senior and Eren is a Sophomore. However, despite the fact that Mikasa’s brother had only ever referred to him as “brat”, Eren had always admired the older boy. It wasn’t just Levi’s good looks, his smooth pale skin, black silky hair similar to his sisters but styled into an undercut and silver eyes with a flicker of blue that were always narrowed into a glare. It wasn’t even his personality really, in fact, many considered Levi to be a bit of an asshole. His features were bent into a constant scowl and he had a cold, standoffish aura about him that told people to keep away. He also had an awful sense of humour that Eren secretly found hilarious but he never had it in him to truly laugh anymore. No, there was just something about Levi that Eren liked and he himself wasn’t entirely sure what it was. Maybe it was the way he didn’t give a shit about what other people thought of him or the way he fiercely cared about his friends and family no matter how hard he tried to deny it. Eren could always tell, they were similar in that way.

“Eren! Would you like to come over for dinner?” Eren could tell by the way Mikasa’s eyes sparkled with a glint of hope that she really wanted him to accept. She was probably the most suspicious of Eren’s constant injuries and lack of nutrition and also the most protective. He knew she was only trying to help. He glanced at Levi from over Mikasa’s shoulder but he just shrugged in a way that said “wasn’t my idea”.

“Um…” Eren had two options. He could go ‘home’ and be beaten like usual. Or he could go have dinner at the Ackerman’s, be late back and beaten for an actual reason. He could go be normal for once, eat a proper meal and pretend that he didn’t live in constant fear of the one family relative he had left. He’d always liked Mr and Mrs Ackerman anyway. They were warm and welcoming and reminded Eren of his own parents.

“I guess, sure. It’ll be nice to see your parents again.” Eren reasons and five minutes later he finds himself fidgeting in the back of Levi’s car.

“Don’t you need to text your Aunt?” Mikasa asks as they pull up to the Ackerman household. It’s a big 4 bedroom house with a little yard at the front and an enormous garden round the back. The exterior walls are painted white with a grey slate roof and a red door. Everything is neat and trimmed but it still has that homey feel Eren misses.

“No, she’ll be alright with it.” It was a blatant lie but Eren knew that if he told his Aunt where he was, she’d demand he come home right away.

The three of them get out the car and walk together up to the front door where they pause so Levi can unlock it. He struggles for a split second, cursing quietly when the key jams slightly before he finally manages to shove it open. Eren is instantly hit with the aroma of food when he steps inside, the savoury fragrance of cooking pasta and tomatoes fills his nostrils and he’s not too surprised to feel his stomach grumbling with impatience. It hurts a little bit actually, the hollow feeling of an empty stomach as the acids lurch and slosh around. He actually feels a little sick but he knows once he’s eaten he’ll be satisfied and the meal will probably last him a couple of days before he has to start sneaking bread from his Aunt’s kitchen again.

“We’re back!” Levi calls out half heartedly but he has that kind of voice that carries without him really trying so Eren has no doubt that their parents heard him.

“And we brought Eren!” Mikasa tags on as they take off their shoes and hang their bags up, Eren making sure to keep his jacket and scarf on. He notices Levi grimace slightly at the state of his belongings. His converse are torn and scuffed, his bag ripped and scruffy but it’s not like he really has a choice. His clothes and school supplies are the extent of his belongings and he can’t afford to buy any new stuff so he elects to ignore Levi’s obvious distaste and just thinks himself lucky that Levi doesn’t actually bring it up.

“Eren, my boy!” Is the greeting he receives from Mr Ackerman when they walk into the living room. The man is sitting comfortably in a leather recliner, reading glasses perched on his nose and a folded newspaper now set aside on the armrest as he stands up with a warm smile. “It’s been a while.”

Eren smiles back, although it’s strained and small but there’s a welcoming warmth in Mr Ackerman’s eyes that make it a little more genuine. “It certainly has, sorry I haven’t stopped by more often.” Eren chuckles sheepishly, actually feeling pretty guilty that he’s neglected seeing them for so long. It’s not his fault though and he keeps reminding himself of this as the man approaches with an amused shake of his head.

“Nonsense! You’re always welcome here!” Mr Ackerman goes to pat him on the shoulder in the way he’s seen fathers do and it isn’t until he sees the look of concern from the man that he realises he’s just flinched away from the touch.

He doesn’t know what to do, how to explain why he recoiled from such a harmless gesture. He’s too scared to look at the expressions Levi and Mikasa may be making but he can guess it’s confusion, although some sick part of his mind convinces him they’d be angry. For what reason, he doesn’t know.

Luckily for him, Mr Ackerman is the first to recover. He clears his throat and retracts his hand back to his side, offering Eren a small smile. “Well it’s always nice to see you. I presume you’re staying for dinner.”

Eren’s mind is reeling, his palms are sweaty and he’s got the overwhelming urge to just run but he stays grounded and wills his voice to reply to the question. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

By the time they’re all seated in the living room and Mrs Ackerman comes out from the kitchen to greet them, Eren’s little mistake is thankfully forgotten. Or at least Eren thinks it is but by the small glances he keeps getting from Levi, he’s not too sure that’s true.

Half an hour later and everyone is called to sit round the kitchen table for dinner and Eren follows them through. His leg has improved throughout the day and instead of a limp its more like an awkward shuffle but no one has mentioned it nor his black eye. Mr and Mrs Ackerman probably presume he got into a fight and are too polite to ask about it, which he’s grateful for.

He sits himself at the table beside Mikasa and across from Levi, resting his fragile hands in his lap and staring down at the empty plate in front of him. He hears a joyful “ta-da!” as Mrs Ackerman brings the pasta bake over to the table and places it on a heat mat in the middle.

“Help yourselves!” She exclaims with a grin and takes a seat next to her husband. Eren lets the Ackerman’s fill their plates first, watching with envy as they scoop up spoonfuls of pasta. When Mikasa passes him the serving spoon, he’s well aware of Levi watching him closely as he piles a small portion on to his plate, knowing his stomach wouldn’t be able to handle anything bigger despite how starved he feels. He digs in as soon as everyone else starts eating, bony fingers gripping the fork painfully and awkwardly. His hands are too skinny too hold things like utensils comfortably but he’s already used to having to use a pen at school so he doesn’t really pay it much attention.

The family is silent as they eat, the only sound the scrape of metal against porcelain. Eren looks around the table at each member until his gaze finally falls on Levi across from him, their eyes making direct contact, lifeless teal meeting steely silver. Eren looks down immediately, stabbing a piece of spiraling pasta and stuffing it in his mouth. He’s sure Levi knows something or at least suspects something is wrong, if the way he keeps glancing at him is anything to go by. It makes Eren nervous, that someone he barely even talks to could catch on so quickly because of one little slip up.

The rest of the meal continues just as quietly, the occasional conversation started by Mikasa’s parents asking their children how their days have been. Mr Ackerman ends up talking about work and Eren learns the man is currently up for promotion.

Once everyone’s plates are scraped clean, Mrs Ackerman announces she made dessert. Eren’s stomach is already full enough, to the point where he feels a little ill, so he politely declines and excuses himself to use the bathroom. He doesn’t want to just awkwardly sit there while everyone else enjoys their cake so he quietly makes his way to the upstairs toilet and desperately tries not to throw up.

Once his stomach has successfully settled down to just feeling contently full, Eren ventures back down the stairs. He finds everyone comfortably seated in the living room, Mr and Mrs Ackerman snuggled up on the two seater couch whilst Mikasa and Levi are sitting on the three seater, the only space open is between the two siblings. The television is switched on, playing some drama series that Eren is unfamiliar with. He doesn’t have TV privileges at his Aunt’s house so he can never talk to his friends about that kind of stuff.

“Did you fall down the toilet or something?” Eren’s eyes dart over to Levi where the older boy has his arm slung over the back of the couch, eyes locked on Eren with his usual unreadable expression.

“My stomach’s just been a bit off today, no biggy.” Eren shrugs and makes his way over to the couch, slumping down into the soft cushions with a soft sigh. He’s acutely aware of Levi’s arm behind him but he refuses to let it get to him. Although he knows he can’t forget its presence completely otherwise he’ll end up flinching if it moves and that’ll just make everything worse.

He tucks his legs under his chin, curling in on himself and resting his head on his knees. It’s his automatic default position when he’s sitting and he even finds himself doing it at school sometimes. His friends label it as one of his quirks but Eren knows it’s more of an instinct in order to protect himself even when he knows he’s not in danger. Years of abuse will do that to a person.

The five of them sit in content silence for about an hour, simply watching television like families do. Eren isn’t really paying attention to the screen though. His head is swimming with thoughts as he subtly looks at the people surrounding him, people full of warmth and love. He wishes he could have this all the time, this fuzzy feeling in his chest when he hears Mikasa quietly chuckle at something she finds amusing on the programme. Or when he hears Levi scoff and make sly little comments about how unrealistic the special effects are. And then Mrs Ackerman will laugh and tell him he’s being too pedantic while Mr Ackerman just rolls his eyes, a trait he’s noticed that Levi has picked up.

But all good things must come to an end and eventually, Eren makes the decision that he has to go home and face the consequences of his actions. They all seem reluctant to let him leave, even Levi, but Eren reassures them that he’ll visit again soon. He vaguely remembers something his Aunt told him the other day and he can’t help but grin at Mikasa as she walks him to the door.

“In fact, my Aunt is away on a business trip this weekend so I could come over friday and spend the night, if you want?” There are rare moments in Eren’s life where his guardian has no choice but to leave him home alone for a couple of days and those are the times when Eren can actually spend time with his friends, even if its for a couple of hours.

Mikasa’s entire face lights up, her eyes gleaming with excitement and a soft smile settling across her lips. “That’d be awesome, Eren.”

Eren leaves down the driveway with a small wave and a shy smile, a smile that stays on his lips all the way home until he reaches the end of his street. He sighs, dragging his feet as he continues on and his stomach drops completely when he spots his Aunt’s car parked outside.

He barely gets one step through the door before he’s grabbed by his hair and thrown to the floor, insults being screamed at his face.

He goes to school the next day with two broken fingers and a cut on his forehead.


	2. DISCONTINUED

Finally gotten around to claiming this as DISCONTINUED !! I'm sorry but I'm not going to be writing anymore of this.

It's been too long and I'm not really that much into the fandom anymore. The story or idea is up for adoption if you wish to continue it yourself. Just let me know.

Sorry guys, but I should be posting a Voltron fic soon if anyone is interested. Thanks for understanding~


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